I heard the twinkling of stars, a slight swoosh, saw a bright light, and there she was! My fairy Godmother! This time she wasn’t with the tooth fairy; I was assured that my remaining 24 teeth were safe. So what could it be this time, I wondered. She read my mind, again, like always. My smile was tentative, the last time she visited; I ended up with a wife. Quietly, I crossed my fingers, with a cutie smile on my face which I don’t think I am capable of since that really contorts my face to an inexplicable expression. Nevertheless, she spoke to me. It was time for another goody bag for me. Yippee! I said, and dipped my hand in the velvet bag she held out to me. I picked a chit and read it. A smile appeared on my face, she just sighed. It said, Superhero.
“So, what do you wanna be?” My mind quickly got into action (Old jungle saying “Ashwin mind work faster than a flying hippo). What were my options –?
1. Spiderman – My favourite hero. Yes, I could be him. Imagine swinging to work everyday, but wait. Two issues (i) Will BMC penalise me under the Clean Up! program for all the webs that I leave behind? (ii) What about those buildings which are weak and may crumble by my swinging and slinging? Nah, can’t be Spidey, too many bureaucratic issues!! Also, no good life, no fancy stuff.
2. Superman – Caped man of steel, fly all the time and see through everything. Could I get through to any mall in my Clake Kentesque get up without sending the security alarms buzing? Nah!! Also the thought of being seen on the road in red undies is not my idea of fashion! Imagine buying a kilo of tomatoes dressed that way. And with the state Mumbai is now, I really can’t be running (make that flying!) around all the time without really impacting the crime graph.
3. Wolverine – I love this, I’ll never need a doctor, man of steel again! Self healer and indestructible along with a boon to be forever young. But travelling would become a problem. I’d be a ready customer for being booked under unauthorised weapons, could never board a flight. Hey what about my annual vacation?
4. James Bond – Fast cars, fantastic suits, amazing watches, travel 5 continents in a week, lot of babes – one every day! And possibly, bosses who really don’t care too much and lets me get away with anything. This looks good. I want to be James Bond. Action, and adventure will be my middle name, – making it awfully long, but what the heck – and yes, I really don’t have to care about banging my car in Mumbai traffic my car since there’s a new one everyday! Solace, finally? A quantum of it!
“James Bond” I said opening my eyes, “I want to be Agent 007, fairy Godmother”. “Sure, you will be. Now will you go and fetch the milk, the milkman is at the door” I heard my wife saying angrily. Oh no!!! Holy cow, I was dreaming. But, I am trying to be Bond. “No milk, get me a vodka martini,” I retorted “shaken, not stirred”.
Yeah sure, that’s what I got. And that’s what I am feeling. Shaken. And stirred!
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