Hair and Now!

Having being introduced to Aamir Khan’s haircut from Dil Chahta Hai in the early part of this century, I have tried to sport the same hairstyle since then. I was on the better side of 30 then, and thought it looked cool. I have persisted with this look (except for during my wedding) amidst protests from the wife, family and friends and importantly the hair stylist (ok ok, the barber!!). My short crop was seen as spikes, to be indulged in by kids, or college students, and not by working professionals. Though whenever I looked into the mirror, I saw a George Clooney look alike, with some shades of gray around the temples. I don’t know what the fuss was all about… can’t stand another Clooney, heh?

 

Anyways, recession has struck of the hairline kind. Some parts of the greying skull has shown some signs of stagnating growth. This has called for drastic measures. A quick analysis of the problem has been done by Megs, and as a interim solution, flowing locks has been recommended – a trackback to jab we met. Not the Shahid Kapur one silly, to when Megs and I met. But on second thoughts – it may just make me happier – a Jab We Met. Plus it provides some more happy advantages –

• Covers my bald patches
• Gives me a serious look
• I don’t have to show my driving licence for a “A” movie
• With winter setting in, I can now be like a woolly sheep and provide warmth to all
• My body weight shows positive growth

So, while the Shahid look is desirable, there is some danger of having the Shahrukh Khan post Om Shanti Om look, or even the Tere Naam, or he Yuvraaj look of Salman. But this would still be better than the Akshaye Khanna look!!

 

So while, I do this hairzardous job of controlling recession, a chat with Santa is on to get some fancy hair sprays and hair creams. Good looks hair I come!

The name is Bond, James Bond…

I heard the twinkling of stars, a slight swoosh, saw a bright light, and there she was! My fairy Godmother! This time she wasn’t with the tooth fairy; I was assured that my remaining 24 teeth were safe. So what could it be this time, I wondered. She read my mind, again, like always. My smile was tentative, the last time she visited; I ended up with a wife. Quietly, I crossed my fingers, with a cutie smile on my face which I don’t think I am capable of since that really contorts my face to an inexplicable expression. Nevertheless, she spoke to me. It was time for another goody bag for me. Yippee! I said, and dipped my hand in the velvet bag she held out to me. I picked a chit and read it. A smile appeared on my face, she just sighed. It said, Superhero.

 

“So, what do you wanna be?” My mind quickly got into action (Old jungle saying “Ashwin mind work faster than a flying hippo). What were my options –?

 

1. Spiderman – My favourite hero. Yes, I could be him. Imagine swinging to work everyday, but wait. Two issues (i) Will BMC penalise me under the Clean Up! program for all the webs that I leave behind? (ii) What about those buildings which are weak and may crumble by my swinging and slinging? Nah, can’t be Spidey, too many bureaucratic issues!! Also, no good life, no fancy stuff.

 

2. Superman – Caped man of steel, fly all the time and see through everything. Could I get through to any mall in my Clake Kentesque get up without sending the security alarms buzing? Nah!! Also the thought of being seen on the road in red undies is not my idea of fashion! Imagine buying a kilo of tomatoes dressed that way. And with the state Mumbai is now, I really can’t be running (make that flying!) around all the time without really impacting the crime graph.

 

3. Wolverine – I love this, I’ll never need a doctor, man of steel again! Self healer and indestructible along with a boon to be forever young. But travelling would become a problem. I’d be a ready customer for being booked under unauthorised weapons, could never board a flight. Hey what about my annual vacation?

 

4. James Bond – Fast cars, fantastic suits, amazing watches, travel 5 continents in a week, lot of babes – one every day! And possibly, bosses who really don’t care too much and lets me get away with anything. This looks good. I want to be James Bond. Action, and adventure will be my middle name, – making it awfully long, but what the heck – and yes, I really don’t have to care about banging my car in Mumbai traffic my car since there’s a new one everyday! Solace, finally? A quantum of it!

 

“James Bond” I said opening my eyes, “I want to be Agent 007, fairy Godmother”. “Sure, you will be. Now will you go and fetch the milk, the milkman is at the door” I heard my wife saying angrily. Oh no!!! Holy cow, I was dreaming. But, I am trying to be Bond. “No milk, get me a vodka martini,” I retorted “shaken, not stirred”.

 

Yeah sure, that’s what I got. And that’s what I am feeling. Shaken. And stirred!

 

Similar post: https://pastpresent.wordpress.com/2007/04/25/superhero/

A man in a woman’s world!

 

I want to concede that my life is dominated by women. There is not a single decision I make that does not take the aid of a woman. It doesn’t make a pretty picture, but I have come to terms with this. Now, before you think that I am a metrosexual, let me correct you. I am not. I might be the new breed called Ubersexual. Maybe, but just partly. But I am still in the evolution phase. I mean, if there is a evolution curve for ubersexuals, I might just be making it past the caveman era!

 

Anyways, coming back, women rule my life. At home, work, in my social circle – everywhere. Here’s how –

 

Mom – Need I say anything? From the education I have to the wife I have, she’s been the one who’s called the shots. Its a pity that my failures to rise up in life cannot equate her to a status of being a Jijamata to a Shivaji. Sob!

 

Wife – Thanks for everything dear! (hope dinner is happening tonight, see I was nice to you!)

 

Daughter – Am the perfect rag doll for Myra; as Megs calls it. (This part – the rag doll – I love!)

 

Work – Working in a gender neutral organisation is a different experience. My boss is a woman, my boss’ boss is a woman, my ex-boss was a woman, my team has more women than men! My partner on a cross departmental project is a woman; my agency is led by a woman. Whew! Such is life. No country for old men!

 

And it’s just not me. Men are at the shallow end of the pool today when it comes to power. I have proof. I did a quick dipstick (not lipstick, dodo!) to figure out what it meant to be a man in today’s world. I asked a few women and men on what they thought were the 3 manliness qualities today.

 

The findings were –

 

My sense is as below –

 

Women are smart. Yes, smarter than men. They are naturally programmed. The figure above tells us that they are the bosses. Men have been tuned by the women. See, the percentage of women who think it is a sign of manliness to be sensitive is same as the percentage of men! Sensitive??!! Couple of decades earlier, a sensitive man would be known as a sissy. Seesee what I mean!! Actually, I don’t know how much to make of these findings, let me know if you see any sense in it.